its ya boy, bleh i pretty much lost 2 of the best people in my...

bleh i pretty much lost 2 of the best people in my life this week and one of them idk even know what happened but when i talk to them it feels like they hate me and honestly once things are different theyll never be the same when i talk to them it just feels awkward like i can physically feel them being annoyed by me but that happens eventually with all of my new friends haa

i hate myself and want to die and it would be really easy now that i dont have anyone that cares about me????? and i have 3 guns i have a electric fence i could just walk into or just take pills and i havent even been sad lately it just seems like once im happy the sadness comes back even worse everytime things dont even get better